McCain Wins. Olbermann's Head Explodes!

McCain Wins. Matthew's Suffers Leg Paralysis!

McCain Wins. Andrea Mitchell Dumb(founded)!

Obama Wins! Markets Rebound!
On Strength of Battery and Bottled Water Sales

McCain Wins. Dems Vow to Improve Voter Fraud Programs!

Obama Wins! France Vaults to #1 in Military Rankings.

McCain Wins. Americans Remain Arrogant Racists.

A Winner Declared! Urban Centers Riot!

Obama Wins! Fairness Doctrine Re-enacted!
Mark Levin to Co-Host MSNBC's Countdown

Obama Wins! Pelosi & Reid Caught 'Celebrating' in Janitors Closet At Victory Party*
*Photo ID's Required

McCain Wins. Obama Consoled by Wright!
Wright: "God #@$& America!"

Obama Wins! Inauguration Plans Revealed!
Ayers to Read Poetry of Mahmoud Darwish

McCain Wins. Dems Fire MSM!
Rush, Hannity, Levin et al Not for Hire.

McCain Wins. Democrats Sue!
Claiming Racism, Stupidity, & Failure to Submit

McCain Wins. Palin Forgives MSM.
Invites Katie and Charlie to Church

Obama Wins! Angry Poodle Savages Stuffed Animals!

Please submit your suggested headlines in the comments below.

inspirational thanks to aball ;)


  1. American Thinker Replaces NYT as the Newspaper of Record

  2. McCain Wins! Obama Refuses to Concede! Pelosi Jumps Off Golden Gate Bridge - kills infant hump back

  3. Dems win super majority, hold special session to pass new and stronger fairness doctr

  4. Here's a headline I would like to see.

    Election over! Voters site no confidence so Whitehouse to remain empty for the next 4 years or until a better choice comes along!!

  5. I did vote today, but I'm seriously afraid to turn the TV on. Have declaired tonight as John Wayne movie night.

  6. McCain Wins!! Palin shot by Cheney!! We all lose. Any last words?

  7. It's a tie! Media pundits predict civil war!

  8. Dan sends his kudos for the clever headlines; I declare Nov. 5 Black Wednesday.

  9. The erection is over! Who wants to play Russian Roulette?